Xavier-Yurei

It been months since I step into this community already, I had been conscripted into the army for 2 whole early had to leave my beloved camera behind and hug a rifle. A shift of environment where MacDonald is gold and coke is silver. It toughens my iron will and I refuse to stop taking pictures. Everyday I looked around looking observing for windows of frames to snap. I took pictures with my mind I compose and snap, sounds kinda insane. I yearn to create again, missed clicking those shutters when the moment of those I was touched by my own pictures, ignited and got burned by it. Those moment where I feel I got it...

I'm tired of being the only one who keeps things going in a relationship, I love it when people press in to my life just as how God loves it when we seek Him. I don't know where is the limit I will come to a conclusion ok that's it. It feels really easy to just let it dies off. Maybe I'm just giving it more time, I'm watching still hoping things will take a turn. Let's just believe.

I been cripped by fear these few days. There are times I will burst into a state of anarchy where my mind would be unable to accept what is and were to come if things are just as it is. Till today I can't take it anymore, strange that even thou the more I seem to doubt my own relationship with God. The more I want to draw near to the Being, something is tugging me so strongly from the inside. Frustrated and eager to seek the presence I don't know why am I still clinging on so strongly instead of being driven to despair. Perhaps this time I did really think too much.... Today I woke up from a short nap, thinking about sex strange just when I